They say, “Do one thing every day that scares you,” yet I had never really taken it to heart in my younger years. Hearing it would make me think of the extremes, like jumping out of a plane or quitting my job mid-meeting, but parachuting is pricey and I was going to need that job if I wanted to go flying.
That old adage means something a bit different to me now though. What I used to see as legitimate reasons for inaction, I now recognise as little more than self-imposed barriers and excuses carefully erected to make myself believe I didn’t have a choice in the matter. But I do. We all do. Everything is a choice.
For years I’ve dreamt about what it might be like to be a professor at a university or regular guest lecturer at a specialty school, but I hadn’t taken any steps towards it. What if I wasn’t good at it? What if it didn’t pay as well? What if it took more out of me than my current role? All could be answered, but it felt easier not knowing. One day I’d figure it out. When I was ready, of course. Not yet; too much uncertainty to go trying something new right now. Right?
I was choosing inaction. I was choosing avoidance. There are so many steps between idly dreaming and standing behind a university lectern facing a class of my own, and I wasn’t taking any of them because it all looked like one giant leap in my mind — as if making even a single enquiry would somehow tie me to a potential future of nights and weekends spent juggling two jobs as I made the transition from researcher to teacher. Better to not think about it. Too risky.
I had household finances to consider. Family plans. Free time I was supposed to be enjoying. Doing one thing that scares you every day remained too tall an ask… because I had never considered the smaller things.
What about inviting a colleague for a coffee to chat about their guest lecturing experience? Hmm, I hadn’t thought of that. Actually, I had, but that absurdly seemed just as scary. After all, there’s still a chance for them to confirm how not-ready I am or how tiring it is or how unfulfilled they felt or any number of other reasons my brain could expertly invent to ‘protect’ me from doing something that might turn out to be everything I had ever wanted in a purpose-led life.
What about putting five minutes of focused time into a low-stakes AI live chat about what options exist around me, what the usual entry criteria are, and which schools are offering what classes that I could speak to? How ‘scary’ would that be? Apparently it had been anxiety-laden enough for me to have not done that either.
What about drafting a simple outline of ten core lessons I already know enough about to teach others? Forget about who’d sign up for it, how much I could or couldn’t get paid for it, or what homework I could give; those are nothing more than distractive thoughts at this stage. An outline doesn’t need to be any more complex than writing the numbers 1 through 10 on a scrap sheet of paper and some topic titles next to them. Stop making simple things scary. No paper? No whining. A paper towel and a crayon could do.
Doing one thing every day that scares you was never about the extremes. The opportunities are everywhere. Send that coffee invite. Draw that outline. Write a throw-away draft of the first chapter of that book or course you’ve been mulling over for a decade.
There are so many little things that we avoid each day because we’re uncertain how they’ll turn out. What it took for me to get over it and get moving was an annoyingly-effective reframe — a question I ask myself probably three times a day now whenever I feel myself about to put something off: Would I rather keep wondering when I’ll get this done or ‘What If?’ with no answer, or would I rather take two minutes to act now so I could have something new to worry about?
I’d rather have a novel problem and a new fear to break down. At least then I’m getting somewhere.
Staying true to my words and putting my money where my mouth is (literally, this listing cost me $89), I have just launched my 1:1 coaching offer on TradeMe Services. Talk about doing one thing today that scares me!
Let me know who you’d recommend this to in your circle. The best way I can help is getting help from others too.