“What am I doing?! It’s just a f**ing plate!”

These bitter words tasted of disappointed rage. The kitchen empty except for me and my apparent failure to embrace an abundance mentality.

There was no great drama at play or grave mistake being made, and the scene would have otherwise never been noticed. But there I stood, staring down at a bowl, debating for too many seconds which was the appropriate size to be using. The task was simply to have leftovers for lunch, so why then did I feel paralysed by choices?

Should I use a small bowl to keep this fresh salad aside, then mix them together after the lamb was reheated? Or what about a bunch of small plates with varying sizes for dipping sauces and seasoning? I could separate the two and bring them both to the table, but then wouldn’t I run out of room where I’d be sitting?

It’s just a f**king plate, dude! It doesn’t matter how many I use because they’ll all go into the dishwasher in the end! Do I need to call myself out? No, of course I don’t, but I’m not the only one struggling with a sense of subconscious scarcity.

I’ve got a conservative-natured tendency to follow the path of frugality, lest I potentially take up more space than I’d need. Ironically, for all the f**ks given to these trivial decisions, I’m freeing up less time than I bleed.

But with this awareness, can come intentional action for resetting my habits of old. So when I next over-think which cup to pick for my drink, remind me of this lesson I’ve told.